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If you are in Midcoast Maine in Sagadahoc, Lincoln, Knox and Waldo counties, New Hope for Women is here to help by calling our toll-free number at 1-800-522-3304, visiting our ‘Contact’ page, or stopping by any of our Midcoast offices.

If you are not from the Midcoast Maine area, here are some resources that may be of help to you: the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence at 1-866-83-4HELP or via the web at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233 or via the web at

This is why I rarely talk about my two-year relationship with a batterer.

I wasn't a housewife with no resources, I was a teenager and he was my first boyfriend. After I escaped, it was years before I told anyone what I'd been through because I was so ashamed. What people don't understand is that abusers don't generally punch you in the face on the first date.

Now obviously there are jealous guys who'd never raise a hand to a woman and whiny victim types who'd sooner put their own eye out than hurt you.

But if you're dating someone who has one or more of these flaws, you might want to do a little digging.

The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.The abuser may expect children to perform beyond their capability (for example whipping a two-year-old for wetting a diaper or teasing children or siblings until they cry).This behavior includes restraining partners against their will during sex, acting out fantasies in which the partner is helpless, initiating sex when the partner is asleep, or demanding sex when the partner is ill or tired.If they did, nobody would ever go out with them twice.But there are some early warning signs -- and as much as you might hate to admit it to yourself, the fact is, even a strong, smart, independent woman can find herself on the wrong end of the fist.

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Here are some behaviors to watch out for: Too close, too fast: After years of dating ambivalent men, it can be refreshing when a guy comes on strong.

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